Man to Godzilla

I enjoy my nights with friends, I really do. With the high demand of being there for everyone at every time, helping to take care of my niece-thing since her mother died, job hunting and finding all odds and ends for money and a bunch of things, it’s always nice when I can actually escape from responsibilities for a day and enjoy my nerd club troupe.

We marathoned both the Iron Man movies today in preparation for the third coming up. We had pizza, drank a bit, and got to act our goofy selves. We’re going to be extremely annoying probably come third movie because dear god, the second has so many memorable lines (But none better than Mickey Rouke spitting blood and yelling ‘YOU LOSE’ in his russian accent.  We’ve adopted it as our own now, much like Bane’s voice in TDKR)

I’m pretty sure that, while in this city, they’re the ones who help keep me from losing my mind. And I appreciate it.

I’ve come to the realization that I don’t really post a lot of too personal things on this tumblr; in actuality, I post a lot of them. They’re just set as private because I don’t want people to worry about my life too much. I also don’t want people to be taken aback by a stance that I have on something that seems to be the latest ‘hot button’ on tumblr because lord jesus there’s a fire in their hearts and the social justice-ites will let forth the hounds of war.

In reality, I like to keep myself sheltered because, for the most part, people knowing how you react to certain things makes them more hesitant to talk to you. It’s something my old psychiatrist told me (Now you know I had a psychiatrist before! But this was ages ago) that she would do to help people, and it’s probably the only reason I liked her out of the fifteen odd ones I’ve been through in my life. She said it was something along the lines of not wanting to distract people or let them think too much on what to say about their stance for something, and instead let them unabashedly have diarrhea mouth on what they care for and for what reasons instead of choosing not to say certain things in present company. (ie; rape,  xenophobia, sexuality, you name it.)

It’s something I’ve adopted as my own because when people don’t know how you feel about something sometimes, they’re usually more willing to talk about it. She’s probably the reason I ever got into wanting to listen to people and probably why being a psychiatrist is the only field in the world that I think I could do every day, without wanting to quit. Which is weird because I’m the weirdest fucking mix of an introvert and an extrovert (Ambivert? I forget the exact technical name for it)

So yeah, there ya go. ‘nother Factzilla.

god I hate my body sometimes. I pass out for two hours and it’s the equivalent of twelve hours of sleep for me it’s too early for this shit body why couldn’t you have done that when more people are awake or something god you’re so annoying.

but not really cause fuckyeah mutant ability to function better than everyone else on the most minimalism of sleep schedules. 

I’m sitting here, watching the videos for “Stand Out” and “Eye to Eye” from A Goofy Movie and realizing how I both still know every word for both of these songs, and it’s probably the only time I kind of sort of maybe enjoy the way I sing.

I still remember every dance move just about too. This movie impacted the way I lived my life for a good while and still does, actually. It helped me develop as a person, as sad as that may sound? I dunno. I have a lot of memories attached to the songs and movie, both good and bad. Even moreso with a lot of Tevin Campbell’s (Powerline’s) songs

I dunno. I’m kind of having one of those wishy-washy weeks where everything goes all haywire one day and then fantastically awesome but hey, looking on the bright side of all this shit. This movie, it’s songs and just.. all of it I suppose, but mostly those two songs are one of the constant things in my life that make me put one foot forward in front of the other.

Doesn’t help that my recently passed aunt/cousin is the one who saw how much I loved it when it was on the Disney Channel and bought it for me on VHS and I treasured the shit out of it until we moved and my entire VHS collection was essentially tossed/thrown out.

Doesn’t help that I had some weird super mega crush on Roxanne either. SO yeah. I guess you learned a fact about me. Tadaaa.

Plus side: shopping, food, and hanging out with Kaeli ((and Steph)also coffee. Delicious coffee.)
Found an Argentinian place. Gonna try Argentinian empanadas. I love empanadas.
New Doctor Who. Woooooo!
Netflix update with delicious shows.

Negative: Work related things caused me to not hang out with friends tonight.
Protomen concert was missed due to lack of funds and forgetting.
No empanadas.
Unemployment hasn’t paid me despite filing a week ago.

Kind of positive day overall.

• Went to the gym thrice. Yay fitness!
• Attempted to re-learn how to drive
• Hit a car in a state of panic; Damage costs $1,148, roughly at the cheapest.
• So called “friend” whom I’ve known for 10+ years disappears off the face of the Earth on me after I ask her about the $550 I loaned her so she wouldn’t get evicted
• Said loan was in November of 2011 to give time to pay back. Foolish me for trusting in people and humanity again
• Niece began having bad nightmares about me dying and now sometimes fears sleeping.
• Friend contacted by one of her past rapists. Falls into deep depression
• Ripped off two toenails because my feet hate me
• Favorite knife clip broke

And that’s a summary of my life for the week. Coming next week, see me possibly in jail for traveling down to Texas and breaking the bitch’s ankles for thinking she can fuck with my money. I don’t take kindly to people fucking with my money or my trust.

Let’s add in the failed  FT job hunt, the ever growing anger at family members for their incompetence and the urge to stab my father 20-some times and baby, we’ve got ourselves a stew goin!

I have to deal with two hysteric people on the phone at 2:45 in the morning, balancing the two of them on call waiting.

One who is having a complete meltdown and is drunk and breaking down in tears who got lost and drunk, too self conscious and was depressed enough as is, decided to go to a bar, not even two blocks away from her house and got lost, had a massive anxiety attack and is now bawling about things

And then the other, who is piss drunk and crying over Fern Gully is threatening to burn his house down so that he can stop the evil corporations from killing the rainforest and save “The sweet bat who sounds like the nutty professor”, and probably would do such a thing because he, once more under the influence of booze and stupidity, broke every light bulb in his house because he thought that they shone so brightly because the government had cameras in them and they wanted to hide them.

Yay.

stop being so delicious.

Past hour has involved me eating the following:

• Two uncrustables
• Three Cadbury Creme eggs
• Five slices of Kraft American cheese
• Four oranges
• An entire bag of baby carrots
• Four donuts
• Two sandwiches (Turkey, corned beef, bologna, cheese, other things)
• A bag of chip mix (regular, cheddar, pretzels) all doused in sriracha
• A gallon of water
• Four cups of greek Yogurt
• half a bag of Starburst Jelly Beans
• One Onion roll
• Two gala apples, one granny smith
• Bowl of Frosted Toast Crunch

Seriously stomach, stoppit.